The 830
Lyrics by Ian McCalman
'A classic song about Scotland’s most scenic
and most dangerous road,
glad to say now much
improved, but fond memories linger.'
He was driving up to Mallaig Glenfinnan by Lochshiel
Heading for Lochailort content behind the wheel
The road was getting narrower the sign said slow
It’s the Highland daily dodgems it’s the 830
There is a natural assumption that A roads are wide
Enough to take a car and one the other side
Tourist information will never ever tell
It’s like driving through heaven on the road made for hell
For it’s a single track you can’t turn back
the stories are all the same
Of tourists leaving Corpach and never seen again
Don’t go on the 830
There’s a joke in the Highlands
it’s called a passing place
Where French stay for chips and Italians stay for days
When lorries lose control you’ve one last wish
Don’t let me die under twenty tons of fish
For it’s a single track you can’t turn back
a nightmare without end
It’s eyes ahead for Nigel Mansell’s
waiting round the bend
Don’t go on the 830
Whoever called this road a road is telling little lies
The 830’s a sheep track in very thin disguise
Italian caravanettes driving on the right
Meeting Wallace Arnold coaches in the middle of the night
Of the man who’s stopping progress
a theory’s gone around
That he owns the biggest breaker’s yard
this side of Mallaig town
You can see him in the gloaming
towing wrecks from where they lie
And he turns them into girders
for the bridge across to Skye
For it’s a single track he’s in Mallaig
and now he feels no pain
He’s dumped his car he’s in the bar
he’s steaming back by train
on a single track you can’t turn back the morals very plain
It’s grand to visit Mallaig but it’s safer by McBrayne’s
Don’t go on the 830
